DO YOU ENJOY CRUISING ?

DO YOU ENJOY CRUISING ?

Audrey Longman Studio at Brentwood Theatre

14.01.17

Seagulls and Beyond The Sea on the soundtrack, and two chairs on the deck.
Pamela – nicely characterized by Janet Oliver – floral print dress, white cardie – is cruising alone, relaxing after an eventful coach journey. A lovely moment when she empties everything – sun-cream, Jilly Cooper - out of her beach bag to answer her phone. Her space is soon invaded by shameless silver fox Gerald; he was on the same coach, and now he's deftly moving his chair closer, boasting about his lunch box, hoping to get his new bosom buddy interested in something more exciting than horticulture. A typically hilarious performance from Vernon Keeble-Watson, finding an infinite variety in calling Pammie's name, doing press-ups on deck, sorting out the lead in his pencil, and, in an unexpected change of mood, overcome by a melancholy loneliness in his “to be or not to be” moment.
Like Sarah Brown with her Cuban milk-shake, Pamela is inspired by an exotic cocktail to involve Gerry in an Agatha Raisin fantasy. There are other passengers on board, of course, and it would be good to see a little more of the doctor, the masseuses and the lounge singer, for instance.
Not all the sequences ring as true as the initial meeting, but there are plenty of laughs before the two singles go off together to swim with turtles by way of the on-board bingo.
Written and directed by Andrew Alton-Read, this rehearsed reading is a work in progress; it's already an enjoyably gentle observational piece, bringing two contrasting characters together to fine comic effect.

PLAIN ENGLISH

PLAIN ENGLISH

at the Audrey Longman Studio, Brentwood Theatre

16.09.2014

Everyone enjoys hearing tales out of school – from Greyfriars to Grange Hill, not to mention those all-seeing flies on the classroom wall.

Terry Burns' terrific one-man show has an impressively authentic ring. It follows naïve NQT Michael England, thrown in at the deep end trying to teach English to Year 11 Set 5 in “Landfill” Comprehensive.

The characters we meet are inspired by real-life staff and students from Burns' own time at the chalk-face.

In a brilliant tour-de-force, he takes us to Cougher's Corner, where colleagues share banter and a break-time fag. Key players in the story are John Cooper, the loud-mouthed bully who's Michael's mentor, shy Simone, who reads Yeats and idolizes her teacher, Wayne, rapper, boxer and troublemaker, and Parveet, troubled poet and class swot, who, like Posner in History Boys, sits at the back and takes notes, and whose rise to literary fame gives the piece its shape. There's even time to meet Michael's middle-class parents.

These very recognizable characters are beautifully realised in Clara Onyemere's economical production – Cooper, addicted to pickled eggs, is genuinely scary, appallingly unpleasant. Simone is touchingly emotional, Wayne is revealed as much more than his dickhead reputation – his rap is a highlight of the show.

Perhaps the “no smoke without fire” crisis is predictable, and plays out slightly improbably, but by that time we're so involved with mild-mannered Mr England and his inner-city class of “muppets” that we're more than happy to go along with it. Many questions are left unanswered, loose ends untied, but the dénouement, when it comes, is both unexpected and profoundly moving.

THINGS TO COME - PLAIN ENGLISH

Local actor Terry Burns 

brings his 

one-man show to Brentwood

After a successful run at Camden’s Etcetera Theatre, local actor Terry Burns is returning to his roots to bring his one-man show ‘Plain English’ to the Audrey Longman Studio at Brentwood Theatre. Terry says ‘It’s great to be back in Essex where I first started out. Plain English is based on my own experiences teaching drama in Essex and London and it’s really exciting to be able to bring the different kinds of characters I met there to life on the stage.”

Plain English by Terry Burns

A hilarious and moving one-man show about a newly qualified teacher's first year in an inner-city school.

Plain English is a vibrant one-man play, self-penned and self-performed by local versatile character actor Terry Burns. It follows the trials and tribulations of idealistic NQT Michael England on his first year on the job as an English teacher in a struggling inner city London school.

“Now, I just want to get one thing clear, I’m not here to teach you how to pass exams! I’m here to help you develop a love for learning and words and to teach you how you can be creative with words. If I can do that, the exams will take care of themselves.” Michael England

Plain English runs from Tues 16^th – Fri 19^th Sept at 8pm in the Audrey Longman Studio, Brentwood Theatre, 15 Shenfield Road, Brentwood CM15 8AG. Tickets £7.